The Summer is just about over. Kids are going back to school. People who have been working are still on the grind or perhaps coming back from vacation. A year ago, I would have been going back to college. Now, that degree is within grasps. It is a milestone to say the least, but there's so much farther to go. Which brings the question to fruition: what's the next move?
They say you if you fail to plan, you plan to fail. There's no doubt that I have plan, but when you go from being productively engaged around the clock to sudden lag, the mind starts to wander. It may even start to play tricks. Of course, I haven't been sitting around doing nothing, while writing for a couple online magazines, hunting for jobs, and staying in shape among other things. However, it is not the same, especially with the future looking so unclear. With such hunger comes the questions of faith, purpose, and the ability to make sound decisions. There are the should have, could have, would have moments. Am I doing enough, or maybe I should do something different, or maybe I should have done this thing here different. Sometimes, too much time to think can rather unpleasant; this coming from a mind that’s overactive as it is.
You start to think about some of your good friends who are returning for their last tour at school, those who have started working and pursing their dreams; all doing big things. Nostalgia and impatience sets in and I ask myself, where do I even begin to fit in between all of that...contemplation? These thoughts are consuming and the present fades into the background, while this post continues on as choppy as my mind.
Not too long ago, I had an experience that put things into perspective. I haven't told many people about it, except now, for anyone who reads this. I often ask God for guidance, so as to put me where I need to be; to use me to do some good on this Earth. On this particular day, after going to the gym and trying to do some reading, I am just about to go mad from being in the house. To escape the madness, I head out to meet one of my good friends in the city. Ironically, I take my sweet time leaving the house.
When I get to the train station, which is above ground, I encounter this elderly lady as I'm going up the escalator. So far, nothing out of the ordinary, yet. As I move past her and continue on my way, it is not very long before she lets out tiny squeal followed by a crash. In that instant I turn around on the up escalator and walk down to where she lays. Holding her hands, I ask if she is okay and if she can stand. Barely audible, she replies no.
Once we reach the top, I pull her off the moving escalator and leave her where she lay, careful not to move her too much. She's worried about her stuff, so I make sure she has them near, while no one troubles them. At the same time another guy comes over to comfort her and a lady with her kids calls 911, while sending her daughter down to get the attendant.
After a little while, she wants to get up, so me and this other guy help her to balance and guide her to a nearby bench. Now, she has become much more lucid. We find out she is in her mid seventies and that she was on her way out to Long Island. Unfortunately, grandma has this huge knot on skull to go with her fall.
Otherwise she seemed okay, only shaken with a bit of a headache, no less. The guy and the woman with her children go on their ways and I make it a point to stay with this lady until the ambulance arrives. In what seemed like long enough, the EMT along with the subway attendant and the police show up to address the situation. I then explain what happened, as they check her out and gently place her on a rescue stretcher. With the assistance of the elevator technicians and officers they took her back down to ground level.
The way she left, it appeared that she would be okay; dubiously I cannot say what the outcome of her condition is. I pray that she is strong and well.
In hindsight, at that moment, I believe that I was exactly where I needed to be. I mean, I could of been at the station later or earlier, missing the whole thing and maybe someone else would have been there for her. Maybe the whole thing wouldn't have happened at all. Either way, I was where I was at that time for a reason. A surreal situation such as that one snaps you out of your own world into reality, into the present. That, in the least, shows me that if I keep doing what I am doing; doing right, pushing, believing, and enduring then I might just always be right where I need to be. Thus, there is no need for me to heavily concern myself with what was or what could be. After all, life, right now, is as precious as it gets.
On a side note: If you read into all that, you should read the Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, if you haven't already. #Justsaying...oh and follow me on twitter @thisjentleman, if you haven't already. haha
As always, God Bless!
